Saturday, March 28, 2020

The Gift of Aloneness

My aloneness unfolds beside me,
Like the petals of a wild flower,
Each petal baring,
a piece of my soul.
Each petal unravelling,
the truth at my core.

 One petal,
for the stillness of time.
One petal,
for the clarity of my mind.
One petal,
for the peace in the now.
One petal,
for fears cast behind.

One petal,
for my inner courage forgotten.
One,
to unravel to me the higher Being.
One petal,
 to nurture my own childlike self.
And one,
for health within my fading shell.

One petal to choose whom I share my aloneness with,
And one last petal to relish this providential gift.

I sit with my aloneness,
cherishing it in my hands.
As it brings me back to myself,
in ways only the universe understands.

Monday, February 13, 2012

ASTANGA YOGA

13th February, 2012

The eight-fold path of Astanga Yoga promises to take one closer and closer to the true self. But in my more practical experience, these are wonderful tools with which to make one's life simpler and more clear to oneself. As soon as one starts practising these tools , the results are apparent. Of course there is pain, as there is bound to be with change, but the beauty of this path is that one's relationship with pain changes as one moves forward. There is more respect for it and less denial of it. There is more acceptance and less running away. There is more clarity.

This is probably going to be my longest poem so far. It is not complete yet.



Simple steps but eight,
Lifetimes of learning unfurled,
Purple flames oscillate,
through the outer and the inner worlds.

Burning, bleaching, reducing,
Leading towards an entity,
Composed of nothing,
And yet all-encompassing.
Of life and time and beyond,
Of ideas not yet dawned.

A ladder of silken steps,
Slippery as they are strong,
Leading forward forever,
Floating on the breath’s song.

---------------------------------------------

First of the eight- the yamas
are a link,
Between what’s out,
and what’s within.
To clarify,
To understand,
To purify.
To embrace,
And,
to defy.

To see the subtle string of life,
That wraps one with the world,
Further beyond the face,
The birth, the time, the place,
Delving deeper,
To what’s underlying all.

The yamas speak of non-violence.

which connects,
which lightens,
which burns.

Which sews a cloak of love,
Pacifying the pain,
Reaching beyond refrain,
Touching the troubled parts,
Of muddled minds and hearts,
To soften the sword of anger,
And the hurt that it spews forth,
An unsaid, unwritten oath,
Promised on one’s part.


The yamas speak of truth.

Acts that mirror your words,
Words that mirror your thoughts,
A heart as free as a flying bird,
Freedom from what is not.

It connects,
It lightens,
It burns.

It clarifies to you your own self,
It dissipates that which is not,
It is the pillar, the light and the sieve,
In a world with impurity fraught.
The world within your withering shell,
That resonates with reels untrue,
Truth will set you free from this,
Revealing the real you.

The yamas speak of not stealing.

For what is worth is with you,
Deep within your distraught shell,
If you will only care to listen,
It chimes as clear as a bell.

Lifetimes linger by,
Time enough to tinker with,
What you do stays strong,
What you have is the ego’s haul,
It’s what you do that moves you along.

To take that which is not one’s own,
In thought, or word or deed,
Is to pile up one’s plate,
With no actual abate,
With pain, and suffering and need.
It is to employ emptiness,
By gnawing away at greed.


The yamas speak of abstinence.

A loose heart and a loose mind-
The slinking shadows of life,
The senses they play,
All night and all day,
In the garb of pleasure,
one swallows strife.

To remain an onlooker,
Who chooses carefully,
What enters his heart,
What captures his mind,
To the play of senses,
By choosing to be blind.

Storing one’s energies,
For higher quests and goals,
Freeing one’s spirit,
From the material hold,
One can move further,
closer,
deeper.

Like a still pendulum,
That has found its centre,
Like the lost child,
Who has gained,
the highest mentor.

The yamas speak of non-hoarding.

To be content,
To be with the breath,
To savour the moment,
To transcend death.

Break loose the shackles,
That bind you to what you see,
Hold lightly the bonds,
That urge you to be.

For all that you see and hear,
Will filter through one day,
And content and calm,
In your nakedness you will lay.

Beauty will be forever yours,
In the mirror of time,
You will find yourself in eternity,
Your identity sublime.

----------------------------------------------------

The second of the eight- the niyamas,
Are rules for oneself,
And oneself alone,
As clear as water,
As stable as stone.
To cease the ceaseless chatter,
Of a swinging, sweeping mind,
To delve into the abyss,
Of the unknown self and time.
To burn, to brighten, to bow,
And with light oneself endow.

The niyamas speak of cleanliness.

Clean the clutter,
To make space for the pure,
Dust out the darkness,
Ignite the impure.

Ashes of ignorance,
Swept into spools of fear,
Clarify the clouded,
Question the term `dear’.

Release your raving mind,
From the cobwebs of time,
Shine in some light,
Bring in what’s bright,
Release and realign.



The niyamas speak of contentment.

The fullness of a morsel,
Felt in its every grain,
The wetness of a downpour,
In every droplet of rain.

A heart that seeks no more,
Than it has or will see,
To be in the here and now,
Than in what has or what can be.

A palm that holds lightly,
Willing to give away,
Willing to transform,
to whatever is life’s way.


The niyamas speak of penance.

Flashing flames of penance,
Fuelling your every thought,
Cleansing,
Filitering,
Burning,
All that with impurity fraught.

Towards a calmer mind,
Towards a giving hand,
Towards a smiling face,
Towards a flexible stand.

Burning through the ego’s
Bumbling game,
Burning through the needless,
Fear and shame,
Is the purer,
Clearer,
Self-ignited flame.

It leaves behind the ashes,
The remnants of a regal war,
The ghosts of a distant past,
Put to sleep at last.

Until one becomes a mirror,
for objects within and without,
An ocean of clarity,
With no room for self-doubt,
Baggage burnt away,
A silent sea at bay,
Silent, simple, pure,
With the power to endure.


The niyamas speak of introspection.

A watchful, inner self,
Alert and alive,
To the known and the unknown,
To the seen and the unseen,
And to the senses five.

Looking inwards I know,
That it’s the world I see,
Everything lies within,
Where I am and where I was,
And tomorrow where I will be.

Perplexed puzzles of pain,
Swirling spills of sanity,
Curdled cobwebs of time,
And the sourness of vanity,
They all huddle from the light,
Hiding, haggling for another life,
But the self is sharp, and swift, and sound,
It brings them all under the knife.


The niyamas speak of surrender.

The warm cloak of the infinite,
Covers my every pore,
It’s in my breath, my thoughts, my life,
It forms my very core.

To let go of the shackles,
That comfort and cloud my mind,
That deludes me into madness,
When sanity I’m trying to find.

To let go,
To the infinite,
To settle in its palm,
To lay down in its lap.
And like a gift,
Its every treasure,
With excitement unwrap.

Unknown to me the future remains,
Unknown as a dark, blue sea,
Its mysteries deep, its waves countless,
Stretching unto infinity.

I let go and breathe,
I let in the new,
With no reserve,
With no ado,
I trust,
I find,
I grow,
I see,
I become one with
Infinity.


--------------------------

The third of the eight- asanas.

My body, my instrument,
To feel,
To do,
To undo.
Fragile but sentient,
A vehicle,
to carry me,
through.

Succulent shell, it houses,
My being, my breath, my life,
Often confused with the true self,
My source of freedom and strife.

Knots of awareness,
awoken,
A dead shell,
resurrected,
Flavours of life,
Fragile death,
my appetite for the truth,
Whetted.

Movements,
move into,
A dance towards clarity,
A ballet of awareness,
Mental alacrity.

The breath is the music,
Notes high and low,
In control,
Contented,
The body begins to flow.

Trangressing the temporary,
Into the infinite,
Lifetimes left behind,
Loosen and unwind,
Until bit, by bit,
You acquaint a clear mind.

---------------------------------------------------

Thursday, February 9, 2012

FLOWING THROUGH THE GUNAS

9th February, 2012

According to yoga philosophy, the human mind is made up of three gunas- rajas, tamas and sattva. As a result of the external and internal changes that one goes through in life, these are constantly shifting in magnitude; only to effect the temperament and consequentially the thoughts, words and actions of a human being.

Rajas is all about action. In its positive state it is energy, enthusiam, passion, assertion. In its negative state it is anger, aggression, impulsivity, arrogance. Similarly Tamas when positive is deliberation. When negative it is lethargy, cowardice, demotivation, fear. Sattva is only positive- the ideal state for the mind to be in. It is equanimity, tolerance, patience, stability, clarity.

Below is my experience of flowing through all the three gunas and how they make me feel. The goal is to be able to stay in sattva, come what may.


Blinding bolts of lightning,
Piercing through my pumping mind,
A war-field of words spoken,
My actions and thoughts are misaligned.

A surge of feverous fires,
Funny, how they find their way,
Through my mind to my tremulous tongue,
Leaving the world disarrayed.

I spit, I taunt, I tear apart,
I’m ruthless as I destroy,
The fire will consume,
And in its wake,
I think it’ll invite joy.

Yet there’s no peace at the end of it all,
In fact, no end is in sight,
The fever continues, the flashes reignite,
I’m banging my head against a wall.

------------------------------------------


Sleepy sombre dull dark deep,
The motionless world in which I sleep,
Everything’s a haze,
I live in a daze,
And when it gets worse, I quietly weep.

A cloud covers my eyelids forever,
Even waking up is an endeavour,
My thoughts laze,
At a snail’s pace,
I’ve forgotten how it feels to be clever.

I lie in the mud,
Dirt covering my eyes,
The worms fill my brain,
I’ve swarmed with flies,
Immobile,
Dead-like,
In a swoon I lay,
The life-force has deserted me,
When will death come?
I’m waiting for the day.
-----------------------------------

A silver sliver of serenity,
Flows freely through my frame,
There’s no bumbling,
There’s no fumbling,
I feel no fear or shame.

Every moment is new,
Every breath a gift,
My mind is clear as sunshine,
I’m no longer adrift.

I sense and see a clear course,
I’m driven by a freeing force,
Lightness envelops my every pore,
And I move forward like never before,
With each breath and every day,
I’m moving closer to the shimmering shore.

The bonds they weaken,
The shackles come loose,
I’m flooded with light,
With love I’m enthused.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Goal, The Path

20th September, 2010

Walking towards the light,
many a shadow crossed my path.
I tripped, I stopped, I smiled,
tears overflowed alongside wrath.
But ne'er once did I lose sight,
of that pin-hole glimmering afar,
It remained my scorching furnace,
it has become my twinkling star.
Sprinkled along the path,
its fragments form a unified whole,
Illusions melt into the ground,
fears drip away from my soul,
a warm blanket of silence envelops me,
as I listen to distant bells toll.

Monday, April 12, 2010

My Soul is Full

12th April, 2010

My soul seemed full, so full today,
with a million leftovers of life;
With numerous strings unattached,
and a couple of them bound to strife.
With dreams lost or just plain forgotten,
And regret walking alongside,
With things I’d done and places I’d been,
With a zest that had all but died.
With a goal that I thought made life worthwhile,
And a heap of arrogance and greed and guile,
With a baggage full of life’s intricacies,
And complications that stretched over a mile.

My soul seemed full, so full this morn,
But no, not anymore,
It’s empty now.
With space and air,
With light and a void,
It’s full of the gift to gather once more.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Thin Red Line

1st October, '09





Silhouettes of reason,
shimmering,
next to sun-scorched
melodies of life.
One minute,
a bask in the sun,
and
the next,
the smell of searing skin.
A thin red line,
traversing its way
through
infinite darkness,
with only,
the wretched hope of life
for company,
writhing
wriggling
bleeding
to make it redder.
Who stepped over the line?
I wonder.
Was it me,
or my
wakefulness?
The greed for another
short-lived breath?
A mesmerized moment of
strangled survival?
Or my choice
of choosing
the charade,
over
the
chiseled sculpture of ashes?






This picture by Thomas Hawk was Nathan's prompt last week.While many people saw the picture as two separate individuals, I saw them as two identities of the same person, exactly the same except for their colour, the difference between them brought about by crossing over just a thin red line. What do you think? Does the idea come across? What do you think about the way I've used breaks and words in the poem? Please do leave your comments under the comments section. Thank you.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Midnight Meanderings

28th September, '09

Clickety-clack
clickety-clack
slippers on cold marble.
Midnight meanderings.
A stomach gone hungry again.
Twisting-turning
Twisting-turning
a psyche about to boil over.
Eyes searching for some warm company.
Unceremoniously picked-up
Unceremoniously dumped
a ball of white fur
Curled up at my cold feet
Sleep visits me again.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Death of A Pop Star

My response to prompt #93 by Deb Scott- Deb wanted us to wallow in the depths of our fantasy and make poetry out of the experience. Though she wanted us to begin with free-writing, I must admit, I cheated and went directly to the poem bit. This wasn't the first idea I got, but the only one that clicked.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

23rd September, '09

The death of a pop star
just limelight gone sour;
Or so I thought,
underneath
sheets so blue,
while the media raged
and the fans engaged
in
a semi-fantastical
boohoo.
I slept a normal
sleepy night
dreamt my dreams,
one or two,
and woke up
fresh-faced
and non-teary-eyed
to take
on the world
anew.

I walked the walk and
talked
the talk
since I had not much else to do
there was a vacuum
in the air
everywhere
from all the handkerchiefs blown into.

I resolved
to make not much of it
to try and keep it
an impersonal issue
but little did I know
and little did I think
that 'Billie Jean'
wouldn't
so easily
say adieu.

Sunset came
with a lolling gait
and a face
less orange than blue
it seems
he happened to know the guy
and really cared for him too.
I sheltered under
the indifferent lamp
whose light was never new.
He cared not who stood
he cared not who fell
so today
he shone
with no less ado.

Feet stretched out
my cat
cuddled by my side
my warm
dependable rescue,
I held on to his tail
hoping to float
if the oceans of tears
anymore grew.
I knew when he smiled
his Cheshire cat smile
flicking his pink tongue,
that he was going to
mew;
the sweetest,
lovable-est sound in the world,
and I hugged him tight,
as if on cue.

But Lord of Sanity,
what do I get
but a pop star's voice,
and the
jerking
sliding
dance moves too,
and a steely lecture
for all my disdain
and a few words about his own virtue.

I feel down on my knees,
and cried
and cried
I finally gave the pop star
his due.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please do let me know what you think of my attempt at telling tall tales. All comments on the idea and form are very welcome. Thank you.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Something In Between my Matresses feels like a Word


14th September, '09

WORD JEMS by Jessica Fox-Wilson- This week Jessica scattered some fine word jems around for us to play with. It was fun trying to use as many of them as possible to create poetry. I started off with blanking out, but eventually, put together what came to my mind's eye. So here goes; some disparate images, truths and sniggers of life- inspired by words.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red ripe succulent plum
crushed between your rice-grain teeth

Sleep,
lifting my lids and strolling
into my midnight musings

Whisking white cotton tail,
and paws and ears and some spots,
disappear into the green-ness of clover

The death of a pop star,
limelight gone sour

To conform and yet to condemn
to spit in the mud you roll in.

Bumbling within the bars of a self-scripted cell,
coke powdered wrists, opium drenched nerves,
drowning in the foggy ecstasy of nothingness
a pittance of an offering to the deity of life.

A multitude of words,
heaped up,
like sugar on a tablespoon.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please feel free to comment on the ideas as well as the form of the poem/poems. Thanks.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Rain Rush

7th September, '09

The whoosh of the rain,
slowing down,
to a pitter-patter;
A tap-dancer on an asbestos roof;

Rustling old notebook sheets,
torn, folded,
engineered into hasty creations;

Rubber chappals on wet, washed earth,
the crunchiness of wet mud,
laughter bubbling at the seams of my soul;

Sucking in the smell of freshly-soaked mud;
The skies have just unburdened themselves.
The whiff of their countless secrets.

Excitement floating through the air,
mingled with the rain and laughter;
Three fine visitors on a boring afternoon;

Sunlight streaming through peepholes in the rain,
specks of gold and grey and nothingness;

Boats bobbing on rain-water rivulets,
drawing imaginary boundaries of joy,
floating images of serenity on water.

A Fine Night For Dying, Again

7th September, '09

A fine night for dying,
again.

Spinning in speckled spools of time,
a blur, a flash, a searing flame,
closer closer closer closer,
until the cobwebs all melt away.
Drops of memory,
spilling onto the ground,
a bottomless pool of pain,
the soundless screech of loss.

Feet bumbling towards forgotten places,
arms all awry in a corpse-like gait;
the walk towards that cold dark spot begins,
again.
In the corner of my sightless eyes,
a vision explodes into life.
A creature mirthful and young,
drinking from the waters of the forests of old,
flying with the eagles of the forever skies,
seeping into my pores, filling me with the new.

The tree people come visiting my door again.
a lights shines into the cold, wet cave.
A fine night for dying, again,
a fine night for soaring the skies.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Ablaze




28th August, '09

My breath is warm,
warming me,
from the cold gaze of survival;
Each day, a fire I'm walking through,
each applause, an ode to my life.

Underneath a starry sky,
behind a wall of fireworks,
I become the lone edifice,
I become the burnt deity,
revered for my burning skin,
loved for my teary eyes.

My nerves they slowly turn to steel,
hardened by the fires of time,
breathing a breath of lifelessness,
burning in flames of approval,
I become the fire of a million souls,
to burn and be burnt with joy,
until this night turns to dawn.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Take-off

26th August, '09

Splash-splash
wings dripping
with droplets of sun,
feet like lead
a weary heart
whither do you seek to fly?

Flap-flap
warm sunlight
wind and feathers
dancing a ballet of their own
a triumphant soul
why do you seek to rest?

Friday, July 31, 2009

The Omen

31st July, '09

A winding- binding path this,
A bouncy feather in the gale,
Nothing astir or running amiss,
no breadcrumbs on this trail.

Shooting stars lie in watery pools,
An image of fire gone sour,
Butterflies turning into toadstools,
there's unrest near and far.

The window opens, a match is struck,
frightened faces on a wind-swept night,
was it destined or is it just luck,
two screech-owls get into a fight.

A whirlpool of trouble, a storm of pain,
swirling, forcing its way within,
the wind and the scent before a rain,
and the forest throbbing to a muted din.

Suddenly with a clap, the wind falls flat,
the clouds break open in a mighty roar,
swish-swash come the drops so fat,
and it rains and rains like never before.

The earth is full, the skies are drenched,
swimming in their own wretched dreams,
And try as hard as you may wrench,
they don't give way at the seams.

A winding-binding path this,
a watery trail to nothingness,
an omen was cast, a moment conquered,
It's part of the trail, no more, no less.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Mirth

5th July, '09

I wish to laugh.
Light, twittering,
with my head thrown up in the air.
My laughter rising into the morning,
soaking up the sunbeams in its path,
and falling back into my life.

I wish to laugh,
Gay, chirpy,
like a child enjoying a mindless joke,
invisible to every mind but its own.

I wish to laugh,
Happy, satisfied,
like two lovers entwined in their love,
floating in their bubble,
of unconditional adoration.
With no tomorrows or yesterdays to be bothered with.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

There It Stands

14th June, '09

There it stands,
an inch away,
a destiny waiting to unfold;
underneath the spanless, testing skies,
underneath a vengeful watchful eye,
it quivers, yet stays so bold.

There it lies,
an inch away,
peace for eternal time;
lazy, languid in its place,
staring at my teary face,
calm in its knowledge sublime.

There it quivers,
an inch away,
the streak of searing, sparkling light;
gloating in its own embrace,
confident in its power to efface,
darkness from my inner sight.

And here I sit,
with waiting eyes,
twitching arms and a weary smile,
waiting, waiting forever more,
to hear the sound of fate's galore.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Picture-Perfect

5th May, '09

Limbs ache with no change,
the mind is frozen with expectation,
days roll into one another,
a warm blanket of submission.
Jagged scars find a way to heal,
Far-fetched dreams crawl out of the door,
the paintbrush slips, our fates are sealed,
this painting will never be perfect again.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Crossing Over

30th April, '09

I lie at the bottom,
of a sparkling stream,
the sunlight streaking upto me.
Pebbles lay smooth,
like mounds of butter,
layered with golden honey.
Hyacinths floating above my face,
stop to touch and tickle my nose,
the water gurgling at the surface,
peeps at me while it flows.
Driftwood pillows my heavy head,
its branches gently rocking me,
I lay there calm and peaceful now,
a picture of serenity.
Fishes swim into my palms,
between my fingers, through my hair,
nibbling at my throat and arms,
welcoming me into their lair.
I lie under the gurgling stream,
looking up at the trees and the skies,
the clouds are lolling,
the rain comes falling,
but I just lie on by.

This's where I'll lie,
until they come,
the ones from yonder above,
I hear they're crying,
pained and glum,
morose at their lost love.
But I'm in no hurry,
to leave so soon,
this watery new home of mine,
I feel no ties, no bonds, no pain,
or even the passage of time.
A lifetime spent in an absurd search,
lying at the bottom,
of a gurgling stream,
Sometimes, death is sweeter,
than is thought,
and life more futile than it may seem.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Homecoming

28th April, '09

Familiar streets, warm with knowing,
my memories infinite, secret;
my womb of struggling years,
my confidante ethereal.
Buried with stories at each curve,
buried with the knowledge of my being,
fragrant, elusive, yesterdays,
the delusive and the real.
I wait to be one with you again,
I wait for the reunion of our spirits once more,
I wait to be under your watch again,
My chaperon of unseen dreams.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Reminiscing

27th April, '09

Sunlight caught in the cobwebs of time,
shimmering, dazzling,
catches my eye,
forming infinite untraceable patterns,
lost in the infiniteness of eternity.
But somewhere suddenly,
a chord is struck,
a memory awakened,
a sliver of silver salvaged,
and history,
clear as a pool,
heavy as dew,
floats into my palms again.