14th September, '09
WORD JEMS by Jessica Fox-Wilson- This week Jessica scattered some fine word jems around for us to play with. It was fun trying to use as many of them as possible to create poetry. I started off with blanking out, but eventually, put together what came to my mind's eye. So here goes; some disparate images, truths and sniggers of life- inspired by words.
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Red ripe succulent plum
crushed between your rice-grain teeth
Sleep,
lifting my lids and strolling
into my midnight musings
Whisking white cotton tail,
and paws and ears and some spots,
disappear into the green-ness of clover
The death of a pop star,
limelight gone sour
To conform and yet to condemn
to spit in the mud you roll in.
Bumbling within the bars of a self-scripted cell,
coke powdered wrists, opium drenched nerves,
drowning in the foggy ecstasy of nothingness
a pittance of an offering to the deity of life.
A multitude of words,
heaped up,
like sugar on a tablespoon.
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Please feel free to comment on the ideas as well as the form of the poem/poems. Thanks.
rice grain teeth is nice... midnight musings are always good....and you have done a very nice job with the words..
ReplyDeleteI've got to say, reading poems this week reveal the limited vocabulary of images; 'plum crushed between teeth' is the second phase that I used that I've seen repeated, and is making me feel a little cliched.
ReplyDeleteI like how you end the disparate images.
ReplyDeleteA poem that allows a person to project an interpretation into it, to make it personal, has accomplished more than one that is specific and confining. I saw many things in your effort with an interpretation reflecting on a recent pop star death. A joy to read.
ReplyDeleteDH
Hi Amulya,
ReplyDeleteI also like "rice-grain teeth" and particularly, the last stanza.
these are like pretty little stones in a river - you've taken them out and examined them, given them words and shared with us, thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteInteresting what you've done with the words. My favourite stanza:
ReplyDelete"Bumbling within the bars of a self-scripted cell,
coke powdered wrists, opium drenched nerves,
drowning in the foggy ecstasy of nothingness
a pittance of an offering to the deity of life."
-Nicole
I love the title of this poem! Reminds me of the fairytale Princess and the Pea. You the sensitive poet can detect the buried word, the muffled poem, before anyone else can!
ReplyDeleteThis is very good, I like what you did with the offered words. My favorite part was "to spit in the mud you roll in".
ReplyDeleteI like how the succulence in the narrator's personal experience at the beginning turns to poison in this, to go with the pop-star's death, how the same material can be both affirming and toxic, depending on who is using it and how.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Katiebird's observation and she described the structure of your poem so well. It's like moving in and out of conscious thought. The descriptions you have written are brilliant. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyable read - particularly enjoyed the final stanza!
ReplyDelete@Wayne Pitchko
ReplyDelete@Tumblewords
@Cynthia Short
@Raven Wing's Poetry
@Derrick
@Irene Toh
- Glad you all enjoyed it so much. It was real fun writing this piece and even more fun going through everyone's private interpretations :) Thank you all.
@Linda
@Katiebird
- That was a beautiful way of putting it Katiebird. Even the experience of writing the poem was like moving in and out of conscious thought, Linda. Thank you both.
@Damian
- Ha..ha.. nothing to be so disheartened... it's just the collective consciousness playing on us all :)
@Woodennickel
- Yes, it was interesting to see everybody's interpretation to the poem... a lot of fun. Thank you.
@Davidmoolten
- Thank you. Love your interpretation of the form.
@Theresebroderick
- That was the feeling when I first saw the words :) Until I wrote these pieces, they would somehow sneak into spaces of my mind and interfere with my other thoughts... hence the parallel drawn with the Princess and the Pea. I quite like the title myself :) Thank you.
Last para is very nice. Nice post
ReplyDeleteWhat a visual treat!
ReplyDeleteVery vivid images throughout. I especially liked the last one.
ReplyDelete@Jeeves
ReplyDelete@Tamra
@Francis Scudellari
- Thank you all. Glad you enjoyed it.
amulya really enjoy the direction you took with the word choices this week. the "coke wrists" and "opium nerves" an especially nice touch considering your wrap-up of "sugar on a spoon". abstract and coherent, this poem drinks nicely from beginning to end. -lawrence
ReplyDeleteCompelling images. I especially like "rice-grain teeth" and the last stanza.
ReplyDeleteLike the first line.
ReplyDeletefor a pittance, you buy that confection
@Lawrence Gladeview
ReplyDelete- Thank you... but wow!! That's an interesting perspective about the coke and the opium and the sugar... I didn't actually intend it that way. Atleast not consciously :)
@Elizabeth
@Gautami Tripathy
- Thank you :)
"Foggy ecstasy of nothingness" is a great phrase. Good work.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nathan :)
ReplyDelete